Dearly beloved, we are all gathered here today to mourn the death of a companion, Blankey. Blankey was not just a great friend, but he was a shelter from the cold hard nights, a self-sacrifising shield from the chilly thunder-soaked evenings. He shall be sorely missed.
Investigations are still ongoing regarding the ripping of Blankey, who is now nearly ripped into half. Blankey’s owner, namely myself, maintain that I had nothing to do with the cold and swift murder of one of the finest blankets in the Wong family which has served so loyaly from generation to generation.
Homicide experts have accused the owner (again me) of blanket-slaughter, but the owner has so far maintained his innocence.
All in all, we shall remember Blankey as a fun-loving individual, much like his owner.
May he rest in
??? – 2007
PS: Seriously, I have no idea how I “killed” it.