I don’t like Chelsea (hate is too strong a word), but I sure as hell do not like their Israeli manager Avram Grant. I mean, I thank him for replacing Jose Mourinho and making Chelsea more vulnerable, but seriously, did you read about his totally bizzare post-match interview after this morning’s 1-0 Premiership away win over Champions League qualifying hopefuls Everton which cut Manchester United’s lead at the top to a mere two points albeit having played a match more.
Here is the transcript, courtesy of Soccernet…
A deserved win Avram?
Grant said: ‘Yes.’
What particularly pleased you about the performance?
‘I’m pleased.’
What in particular pleased you?
After an eight second delay: ‘I don’t know.’
Is it a relief to win here?
‘Yes.’
You seem lost for words by the performance. Are you more satisfied with the performance or the victory?
‘Both.’
You seem distracted. Do you have a problem?
‘No problem.’
Is there an issue?
‘No. I’m ok. I have nothing to say.’
Do you have a message for the Chelsea fans?
‘You represent the Chelsea fans?’
They must believe you are still in the title race, do you have a message for them?
‘No message.’
Does this result mean you are back in it now?
‘I don’t know.’
How many steps have you climbed to undertake this press conference?
‘I don’t know.’
You seem less voluble than usual. Is it because of Sky TV moving the game to a Thursday?
‘Maybe it’s because of you. I don’t know. I am ok.’
You are saying that you don’t know if you are still in the title race?
‘No.’ Is it easier to say nothing Avram?
‘I don’t what to answer. It is a good question. I don’t know what to answer.’
Is this because of Sky?
‘No. Sky is ok. I enjoy watching them.’
Is it a protest against newspapers?
‘No. Why?’
Why else would you come in and refuse to answer our questions?
‘I answer every question.’
You are two points behind Manchester United and you don’t know if you are still in the title race?
‘No.’
Have you told the players that you don’t know if you are back in the title race?
‘What I tell the players is something else. You want me to tell you what I say to the players?’
We just want you to answer the question really. Are you in the title race?
‘I don’t know.’
Would you not like to gain some positive publicity for the result rather than this bizarre silence?
‘I’m sorry. You can write whatever you want and I can answer what I want.’
Do you feel under pressure to deliver a trophy. Is that the reason for the monosyllabic answers?
‘No.’
Are you upset? Do you feel you have been misrepresented?
‘Maybe I have said because it is a bad season.’
Did Michael Essien faint?
‘He had some problems, but he is ok.’
Michael Ballack?
‘Injured.’
What’s his problem?
‘Ask the doctor.’
He’s not here Avram.
‘Well call him then.’
Have you ever played the yes/no game Avram?
…..
That is what, for you psych majors out there, is called I-am-gonna-shit-in-my-pants-cause-I-have-never-been-in-this-position-before syndrome. Pressure has finally got to poor Avram, and he is closer to the edge than ever. Do everyone a favour, Avram, especially the whiney Tal Ben Haim, and step down, we knew from the beginning Stamford Bridge is too big (or maybe too small in terms of capacity) for you.
Talk about a lost of words, so today I struck a conversation with a girl I have never talked with before in my life. This girl intrigued me since the day I met her in class, but the inner wuss never allowed me to actually go up to her and say “hi”. But today, I wonder if I was high from post-presentation excitement, I actually talked to her.
The funny thing was I forgot to ask her number (blunder #1) and at that time it was kinda near lunch time, did not ask her if she wanted to grab something to eat (blunder #2), and boy, was I hungry. Looks like Avram and I do have something in common.
But seriously people, try doing something that scares you once everyday cause it is good theraphy (not that I need theraphy) plus it makes for good blog material.
April 18, 2008 at 7:27 pm
Whoa. Avram is one articulate insightful bugger. Y’know, Jose could take a few lessonds from him. *nods head*
But I totally geddit..I mean put me in a situation like that, and I’d probably just gulp like a goldfish and stare around for the nearest exit.
Oh and when you link my blog as “Vanessa’s blog of tremendous laughs”.
Um.
You’re not being sarcastic are you?
April 18, 2008 at 7:28 pm
lessons.
not lessonds.
I hate it when I type stuff wrong. =(
April 18, 2008 at 8:22 pm
of course i am not sarcastic, it totally is funny, your blog i mean, freakingly entertaining ”)
April 19, 2008 at 3:59 pm
Awww really? Thanks! That’s a reeeeal compliment, there =)
Glad you enjoy reading it!
April 20, 2008 at 9:16 pm
omg dudee… that jz hilarious lah. did he reli say that? put a utube link or sth there man. ^^
April 22, 2008 at 1:23 am
oh yay. my fwens are on this comment thread. looky out world, these are my fwens. all whom are better blog updaters than i will ever be!
and avram rocks, but he’s still goin’ downnnnnnnnnn.
OH. AND, Riz i have have decided that you owe both of us coffee.
April 22, 2008 at 1:25 am
and vanessa has teh funniest (and horniest) blog ever!
fin.
April 22, 2008 at 6:03 pm
Hello Grace! *waves*
Yes totally, the Avram is going very down. Bring back Jose!! *(Three words I never thought I’d ever utter in my lifetime).
And yes, dude. Me cannot argue with the horniest blog ever quote. Call me guilty and send me a Gyllenhaal.